Destiny Arrived With Avengers: Inifinity War And This Is How I Felt

First of all, this is not really a movie review. It is merely a documentation of my feelings.

I had passed the opportunity to review Avengers: Infinity War because I did not want to watch it under pressure as I did Black Panther.

I was extremely excited to watch this assemblage of super people wherein the events of the last 10 years, that began with Iron Man, would add up to reach this point in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.


I repeatedly watched the trailers of Infinity War and rewatched certain films that led to it, and I yapped and yapped about how excited I was to watch the coming together of remarkable people to fight the battles that no one ever could.

Heck, I even spent two days making a video of my love for Marvel Cinematic Universe masquerading as a dedication to every Marvel fan before the release of Infinity War with the help of my colleagues, of course.

And yet… I ran late into the film and the reason for that is as usual as anything could ever be: the reluctant autowallahs of Mumbai.

‘Dread it, run from it… Destiny still arrives’ never stood truer for me than that long moment of despair of not finding a single auto driver who’d say yes, I will take you to watch the film you have been dying to see.


After having been rejected by about 40 auto drivers who didn’t care that a world was crumbling, and with it, my favourite super people, my friend and I finally found an angel who agreed to drop us to the theatre.

There it stood, right before our eyes across the road. And, the signal turned red. Enough, I decided and ran for it and my friend, behind me, swearing he’d never see a film with me ever again.

As we entered – spoilers begin now, so, if you haven’t watched Infinity War, you might want to leave – Thanos was conversing with Loki, who wished death upon himself by playing one of his countless tricks on the Mad Titan.

The first thing I saw in Infinity War was Loki dying. And, as contemptible things as Loki has done in the past, I felt bad for him. Did he just have these rough three minutes in the film? I couldn’t believe it.


But, this time, no resurrection, asserted Thanos and left to wreak havoc on, correct me if I’m wrong because it was all a lot to process, Knowhere.

So, Loki wasn’t coming back, and Thor watched his naughty brother die a most dishonorable death.

As events unfolded simultaneously on different planets rapidly, I, along with a lot of other people in the theatre, hooted, cheered and said, f*ck, NO!

Watching Steve Rogers enter with his overflowing charm and Black Widow kick ass like no one ever does and them stepping over the crack, that Civil War had caused, to come to Vision’s rescue and Wanda’s help, was exhilarating.

They had put their differences aside to fight for a bigger cause: the battle that no one else could fight.

And even amid this tension, the way the filmmakers – especially the dialogue writers – brought hints of humor in the narrative, was beautiful to watch. It wasn’t forced; it was needed.


Besides the humor, the hint of human-like feelings in Thanos — be it that of love for Gamora, his estranged daughter, or his agony of having to kill her — was unmissable. Even this mad guy isn’t free of the price that destiny carries with it.

And while we’re talking about a father’s love for his daughter, no matter how twisted it was in its way, not mentioning a glimpse of a similar fatherly love in Tony for Peter would be an injustice.

How extraordinary it was to look at a man, who is so full of himself, care so deeply about a teenager to whom he is not really related!

All of these little things were required for us to wade through this war without realizing the brutal end of it.

Nothing could have prepared us for the end.


Even though the end was heart-shattering for multiple reasons, the events that led to it – especially the battle in Wakanda where Black Panther, Bucky Barnes, Rogers, Wanda, Okoye, Black Widow, M’Baku, Bruce Banner, who was simultaneously fighting an inner battle with the Hulk, and Thor with his spectacular entry into the battlefield with a shiny new axe that Groot unselfishly packaged with love, pinning Thanos’ dog aliens and Black Order to the ground – was a spectacle like no other.

The battle in Wakanda was just one among the many, many spectacular scenes in Infinity War. Who’d think that a face-off between a power-hungry, depraved Thanos and anyone could look pretty? But it was indeed spellbinding, thanks to the wizard, Dr. Strange’s tricks.

And as sad as the culmination of these events was, it was beautiful with Rogers bedazzling Thanos with the show of strength of his bare hands against the former’s infinity gauntlet, which, btw, at the time of this hand-to-hand fight was short of just one of the six most powerful stones in the universe.


Then, the crumbling of some of earth’s mightiest heroes – among them, the saddest being that of a young boy who had just been baptized an Avenger, Peter Parker — along with all the guardians of the galaxy, except one, to dust was unsettling beyond words can ever describe.

The expressions of confusion, apprehension, and fear that these mighty people left the world with, evoked deep sorrow in me. These are just fictional characters, right? But this truth didn’t hit me while watching them die just like that as a mad being snapped his fingers.

The end had come. It was beautiful and ugly, and unfortunately, it was supposed to be that way. The end (and everything in between) is what makes this film as good as it is. It left me yearning to know more, to see more. What next? Well, thankfully for Marvel’s custom of post-credits scenes, we all got a hint.

All I know now is that I cannot wait for 2019, where we all get our answers, and hopefully, pleasant ones this time.


Judge Me All You Want For Not Judging Because IDGAF

(All right. I give a fuck enough to write about this but I really need to get this off my chest. So, bear with me.)

There’s this unspeakable thing I’ve been trying to do for a long time: NOT JUDGE. (As ironical as it might be for me to put this up on this blog with the name it has.)

Even though I always try to not judge anybody, this world is unforgiving… OK, world is too big; the people around me are unforgiving.


I mean, they judge me for trying not to judge others and pass statements so confidently as if it’s they who are thinking for me. And these unforgiving people are my friends.

TBH, it angers me beyond words when my friends pick on this attempt of mine to seriously mind my own fucken business.

“Hamna doesn’t say anything but she judges everybody in her head,” they say. Well, it’s true to some extent. Yes, sometimes I can’t stop judgments flooding my head BUT what I can stop, and I do stop is them escaping my mouth.

(Because I think and hope that if I strangle them in my throat, they will all eventually just die.)

Sometimes (and honestly, not always) when judgments hijack my thoughts when somebody does something that’s not what I’d do, like drink and lose sense of sense, I still try to shirk off those judgmental thoughts with new ones.

I try to divert my attention. It’s bloody hard.

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They just usurp the thoughtless space of my brain and wreak havoc because then my thoughtlessness ensues a war with the thoughts I do not want to be there.

So, when my friends point out how I “slyly” judge people, it hurts and angers me. I’M TRYING TO STICK TO THE NO-JUDGMENT POLICY HERE, WHICH IS HARD, SO CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING IT HARDER?

Neither I am nor I want to be Ms Goody Two-Shoes. Sometimes, it frightens me for I might come across as too uptight for a friendship to last; the dreaded killjoy.

I sometimes think a person would stop speaking with me because I won’t come across as fun in a world where sometimes people bond over making fun of others which I refuse to do.

All I want is to make peace with the fact that the world is full of different people who do things for a reason or just because they like to do those things. They have the effing right to do what they want and so do I.

So, my dear friends, when I say I don’t judge people, please stop looking at me like I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m totally aware of what I mean so please stop finding any context in it besides the fact that I REFUSE TO JUDGE.

Now, some of you might have found offense in whatever I stated above. But, I’m sorry, I can’t apologise because I mean it all. I expect you to understand it like the rational adult you are. Thank you very much for understanding.

I’ll end my rant with this unsolicited piece of advice because I can do at least one normal thing, no? – Try not to judge people and I bet you’ll feel lighter when you stop giving two shits about others.

La La Land Is Three-Quarters The Beauty Of Whiplash

La La Land is three-quarters the beauty of Whiplash.

Coming across “From the makers of Whiplash” was more than enough for me to look forward to La La Land. The beauteous screenplay, gripping direction and impeccable performances are all the things that I eagerly looked forward to.

As soon as La La Land got over, I insisted that my friend, who had accompanied me for the movie, watch Whiplash right away. And as we sat in front of her laptop, my revisit to Whiplash began. As the movie continued, I noticed a  lot of similarities between it and La La Land.

The biggest similarity was the addressing of the issue of jazz dying. Both the films depicted intense passion; passion for one’s dreams. Both had love being placed below aspirations. Both had the mention of Summer, for some reason. Both had the cameras zoom into edibles and drinks (coffee, etc in La La Land and soft drinks and popcorn in Whiplash) which essentially brings out the peculiarity of the director. Both had JK Simmons being an ass hole.




Most importantly, both kept reality intact.

However, the dissimilarities between the two led Whiplash to secure the top position for me. Whiplash had the intensity which LLL lacked. Whiplash made me cringe everytime Andrew (Miles Teller) picked up the drumsticks. Every time that he bled his fingers to perform his best, I felt it. Really! One has to see it to feel it.

LLL had more colours and brightness than Whiplash. The usage of light was more nuanced in LLL. For instance, the way only the character that sang or spoke was spotlighted totally captivated me. I knew I had to pay attention; I had to look into the eyes of the character, just like, I felt the building nervousness with every manoeuvre of Fletcher’s hand in Whiplash.

As for the performances, Emma Stone’s matches the intensity of Miles Teller’s while Ryan Gosling is good in his own way. It’s Teller’s performance that outshines the other two’s for me any day, though.




Another person who needs a mention is Damien Chazelle, the director. Man, is he amazing! TBH, I was sort of astonished to discover his age (32) since I’d thought such intricate handiwork would belong to some aged, experienced person.

Both films undoubtedly had outstanding performances; LLL had more dreamy sequences and more filmy drama while Whiplash had all its seriousness taking me for a ride.

Music, which is a significant part of both the films, was peppier in LLL, of course, but the way it intensifies in Whiplash is noteworthy. Still, it’s the songs of LLL that find a better place in my heart than the drums of Whiplash. The way Andrew bashes his drums and Mia puts life into verses is abso-frikking-lutely commendable.

Coming to my conclusion and that of both the films, that of Whiplash wins hands down.


I know it was great to see Mia and Sebastian resolutely move on in their lives, which was a very realistic thing to do. However, Andrew’s unflinching perseverance and taking an extremely good control of the situation, which takes Fletcher (and us) for a hell of a ride, is one that leaves a stronger impact.

Although LLL ended on an unexpected yet fair note, the ending of Whiplash was stronger. All in all, La La Land is three-quarters the beauty of Whiplash.

And that is all for now, folks!


I have grown up with four siblings- the eldest being 9 years elder to me and the youngest (our only brother) being 1.5 years younger- with me being the fourth child out of five.

From being told that I’m adopted (jokingly, of course) to being loved and cared for, I now cherish all those years I spent with my siblings- The Famous Five- as we proudly used to call ourselves. Now that we’ve grown up and moved away (NOT grown apart) from each other, I reminisce and sometimes sob over all those years of togetherness that I took for granted. Perhaps it’s true, distance does bring us closer.

Every year’s summer holidays would bring a family vacation for us. From North to South to West, we covered most of India, leaving the East to conquer later. However, that day never came since two of my sisters got married.

Every trip to the different states that we’d visit would include customary Road trips between cities. Ammi, Papa and the five of us would have the best times away from the responsibilities of home, office and school. 

Oh how I wish for those days to come back!

Well, some parts of those days did return with TVF’s webseries, Tripling. A number of memories resurfaced and left me wanting for more.


Tripling brings out all those emotions that a love-hate relationship entails. And you know what? A sibling relationship best exemplifies a love-hate relationship. 

Yes, we had our moments when we absolutely hated each other’s presence and also when we longed to see each other. TBH, I sometimes wished for my eldest sister, Fatima appi*, to get married soon. Y’know, she was mostly in the character of Hitler who’d whip us on not studying or make us do her share of work. Yet she was the one who set great examples for us to follow, at the same time.

My second sister, Hadia appi, was mostly quiet and reclusive. She was the most organized EVER! I would hate it every time she would command me to assemble the naashta tray whenever guests would arrive (which would be 24×7 since Papa is a journalist and our day would usually commence in the night). But I can never forget all those times when Hadia appi became that Angel who’d lend us, the poor famished souls,  Rs 10 to buy 3 samosas from the canteen during the lunch break in school.

Maryam appi, my third sister, has always been more like a friend and confidante than a 2-year-older sibling. Although I cannot really behave disobediently with her, I can share every little detail of my life with her without caring about judgments.

Annnd, Saif- our younger brother- still remains that guy with whom I can openly fight and yet not be able to remain angry for long owing to his absolutely irksome habit of becoming too nosey whenever I put up the get-lost-I-ain’t-gonna-talk facade to teach him a lesson.

Despite our differences, I haven’t been too vocal or expressive like Chitvan, Chandan or Chanchal (episode 4). Respect, you see. But these three show us that the more vocal about clearing doubts you are, the better your relationship with others will become. (Just make sure to voice arguments politely and not scar your loved ones for life in the process.)


I relate with Chitvan the most. Although I’m not as callous and IDGAF-ey as him, I do like simplifying things. “Hamare beech issue kya Hai mere toh yeh he samajh nahi aa raha” is what I resonated with the most. I just don’t understand the need for complication. But again, I cannot coolly turn up with blue hair as much as I’d love to. Y’know, I don’t want Ammi’s flying Chappal to reach me from Lucknow to Mumbai.

This brings me to the parents. Man, this trio’s parents are surreal! How many super cool parents have you come across? By super cool, I mean those that drug their kids with cookies. So yes, they’re like surreal or something. TBH, my father who had resentfully remarked at my brother’s side-trimmed hair, would’ve thrown him out had he stepped in with a blue head.

video screengrab / tvfplay app

As for Ammi, I can’t say whether she’d be able to keep her cool on learning that her children have major problems to deal with, (thankfully,  we don’t) like Shalu (the mother) does.

Shalu / video screengrab / tvfplay app

But yes, we have been allowed to go on trips over phone calls and, at the same time, we’ve been disallowed stay-overs at our friends’ places IN THE SAME CITY for some reason that we’ve never learned. Yes, we have been let loose to live, study and work in different cities but we have also been bound to wear clothes that Ammi picked for us without daring to rebel. Isn’t that somewhat like Chitvan who, in spite of having super cool parents and all, cannot smoke up when they’re around? Respect again, Y’know.

To conclude, Tripling gave me several reflections of my life and brought back my long-forgotten road trip memories with my family. I totally loved it! And yeah, Chitvan’s M*****f***a performance was amazing [can’t say it because my elder sisters are gonna read this. Respect, Y’know. ;)]


*Appi means Didi

We SO Wish We Had These Teachers In Our Schools

We think of most teachers as strict and unapproachable generally. We fail to gather enough courage to go and speak with our teachers about why, honestly, we failed to finish our homework. How often does a teacher really take out time from their busy schedule and sit and talk to us?


It’s that time of the year again when we feel heartfelt gratitude for the ones whom we cursed in classrooms and mocked behind their backs– our teachers. It’s a special day for all teachers nationwide. Schools will have children performing special songs and dances for their teachers, no classes will be held, sweets will be distributed and students will be thrilled.

Yes, we took our teachers for granted. We didn’t listen to them then but now, as we’ve grown up and moved on in life to face the real world, we are reminded of all the lessons that our teachers gave us. But you know, there would always be some teachers who, let’s be honest, weren’t as thoughtful as they should have been.


We wished they had not humiliated us in front of the whole class for making a small mistake. We wished they had told us that it’ll be all right instead of putting pressure which would always take the better of us and make us gloomy and hate school. In short, we wished we had these teachers in our school:

Johnny Matthew (Nagesh Kukunoor) from Rocksford 

A sports teacher who doesn’t just whistle and shout… NO, you think? You’ve gotta watch Rocksford and see this amazing sports teacher who doesn’t only build your physical strength but your mental strength too. I mean, which teacher sets you up for a date with a person you’re crushing on?


Vincent Sir (Vinay Pathak) from Hip Hip Hurray!

A teacher who holds classes outside of the monotonous classrooms, Vinay Pathak, who plays the role of an English teacher, is as romantic as a teacher as his lessons of Shakespeare are.

vinay pathak

Ram Shankar Nikumbh (Aamir Khan) from Taare Zameen Par

Nikumbh is such a teacher who looks beyond a weak student’s notebook mistakes. He figures out what the real problem is, and isn’t that what we all want- To be understood? A teacher who pushes you to live your worth, do what you do best instead of pressurising you to fetch good marks, is not one that we come across often.


Raj Aryan (Shahrukh Khan) in Mohabbatein

How many times have you witnessed a teacher who pushes you to break rules (as baseless as they are)? Don’t we all wish for a teacher who would tell us to run out of the school premises just to show that conforming to baseless stuff is not logical? And it’s for all that that we love Raj sir from Mohabbatein.


(Republished from Being Indian)

Yeah, you can call it a review of TEACHERS. 😛


TVF Does It Again With ‘How I Raped Your Mother’- A Satirical Take On Marital Rape That Will Leave You Thinking

Marital Rape topic seems like Voldemort from Harry Potter– You know, you just can’t name it. It’s like one despised yet viciously powerful entity. Unfortunately, marital rape’s power is not recognized, unlike Voldemort. The depth of the topic is quickly and conveniently disregarded with this-is-another-feminist-rant kind of counter opinions.


Well, TVF Girliyapa’s new video titled How I Raped Your Mother takes a stand on the topic with as much wisdom-coated-insensitivity as the insensitive responses that this topic garners. Thus, it makes a befitting reply to the absolutely illogical approach that people generally put up against marital rape. You know, like lohe se loha kat’ta hai, this video will show you howinsensitivity should kill (or at least attack) insensitivity.

The video presents the family as a microcosmic society which is indifferent to the “alien” concept of marital rape. There are some takeaways from the video that we all NEED to consider.


We do not recognize marital rape: When the female protagonist, Devika, complains about her being raped, the family gets in a defensive mode- ready to bash up the rapist. However, when the girl reveals that she is pointing towards her husband, Arun, it leaves the family perplexed. They ask “What is marital rape?” while referring to it as new-age rape.


We refrain from even talking about it: The video’s euphemism for marital rape as ‘intense love making’ speaks volumes about how ignorant we are. The girl’s mother half mentions that she has faced rape herself. Even if they go closer to the recognition of marital rape in their heads, they back off and address it as another form of expressing love. No wonder the family keeps digressing from the topic to talk about other things, like health benefits of sex.

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We agonize the victim to the extent that they start feeling guilty: The video satirically puts out how insignificant sacrifices of husbands like eating baigan curry against their will are weighed more against the major sacrifice by the victimized women. The petty sacrifices are thrust into her head until she becomes complacent and admits the fact that she might be wrong.


The justifications against criminalization of marital rape are outright unreasonable: They look down upon the reasons given by Women and Child Development Minister, Maneka Gandhi, against criminalization of marital rape and you won’t even realise it. Of course, how can illiteracy, poverty or culture be responsible for the unsuitability of a law to curb marital rape? These reasons are unacceptable.


How heavily patriarchal our society is: The fact that Arun’s inconsequential contentions are given more value against Devika’s mirrors the patriarchy prevalent in our society. It’s so ingrained in us that we overlook the objectification of women. Rape is just another way for men to fan their fragile egos.

So when you laugh while you watch the video and listen to the hilarious dialogues, just pause for a moment and think about what they are really trying to convey behind all the subtle jokes.

We got to sleep harder and SOFY tells us why.

We Indians have seen ample ads that make us laugh more than they make sense. I’m sure you would recall the phrase ‘Tapaaa Tap’ when the topic of discussion is bad advertising. BTW, sanitary pad ads also rank quite high in the list of nonsensical advertisements.

Admit it, we hate seeing ads on menstruation which consider the natural cycle as a confidence-dwindling thing. Moreover, we’re tired of watching these sanitary napkin brands sticking to the trite way of marketing their products.

*Reality Check* It doesn’t work.

Sofy had released a rather annoying two-ad series on a love story which could be completed only because the girl who is low on confidence otherwise, given to her periods, decides to use Sofy.



That made me wonder who could have allowed such a hideously idiotic thing to pass as an ad. However, Sofy has now corrected its mistake by releasing this new ad called Girl Uninterrupted. The ad refers to menstruation with an absolutely fresh approach and I love it! It’s good that they realised that periods are more than just the worry of stains and wearing white pants in “those five days”.

They have even started the campaign #GirlUninterrupted which trended on Twitter. So, you got to “sleep uninterrupted to stay uninterrupted.” And honestly, I love sleeping so I’d give this ad one extra mark anyway!

Wanna know why? Watch the ad here.


Now that’s the way, Ahaa Ahaa!