Marital Rape topic seems like Voldemort from Harry Potter– You know, you just can’t name it. It’s like one despised yet viciously powerful entity. Unfortunately, marital rape’s power is not recognized, unlike Voldemort. The depth of the topic is quickly and conveniently disregarded with this-is-another-feminist-rant kind of counter opinions.
Well, TVF Girliyapa’s new video titled How I Raped Your Mother takes a stand on the topic with as much wisdom-coated-insensitivity as the insensitive responses that this topic garners. Thus, it makes a befitting reply to the absolutely illogical approach that people generally put up against marital rape. You know, like lohe se loha kat’ta hai, this video will show you howinsensitivity should kill (or at least attack) insensitivity.
The video presents the family as a microcosmic society which is indifferent to the “alien” concept of marital rape. There are some takeaways from the video that we all NEED to consider.
We do not recognize marital rape: When the female protagonist, Devika, complains about her being raped, the family gets in a defensive mode- ready to bash up the rapist. However, when the girl reveals that she is pointing towards her husband, Arun, it leaves the family perplexed. They ask “What is marital rape?” while referring to it as new-age rape.
We refrain from even talking about it: The video’s euphemism for marital rape as ‘intense love making’ speaks volumes about how ignorant we are. The girl’s mother half mentions that she has faced rape herself. Even if they go closer to the recognition of marital rape in their heads, they back off and address it as another form of expressing love. No wonder the family keeps digressing from the topic to talk about other things, like health benefits of sex.
We agonize the victim to the extent that they start feeling guilty: The video satirically puts out how insignificant sacrifices of husbands like eating baigan curry against their will are weighed more against the major sacrifice by the victimized women. The petty sacrifices are thrust into her head until she becomes complacent and admits the fact that she might be wrong.
The justifications against criminalization of marital rape are outright unreasonable: They look down upon the reasons given by Women and Child Development Minister, Maneka Gandhi, against criminalization of marital rape and you won’t even realise it. Of course, how can illiteracy, poverty or culture be responsible for the unsuitability of a law to curb marital rape? These reasons are unacceptable.
How heavily patriarchal our society is: The fact that Arun’s inconsequential contentions are given more value against Devika’s mirrors the patriarchy prevalent in our society. It’s so ingrained in us that we overlook the objectification of women. Rape is just another way for men to fan their fragile egos.
So when you laugh while you watch the video and listen to the hilarious dialogues, just pause for a moment and think about what they are really trying to convey behind all the subtle jokes.