Why you should not watch Ki & Ka

“I would like some realism please.”

“Sorry Ma’am, we cannot offer that cause we lack it big time.”

That’s precisely the response you’d get from Ki and Ka. It’s a case of severe metaphor-fail and you can see it’s disappointing repercussions in the new Kit Kat ad featuring Ki (Kareena Kapoor) and Ka (Arjun Kapoor) besides the film itself.

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Courtesy: songsbajaao.com

Despite being a film that aims to promote the fresh idea of a progressive ‘housemaker’ man who is wedded to a working woman, Ki and Ka fails to bring about an impacting message. The over-the-top unrealistic dialogues, screenplay and acting smothers the message to a painful death, much to the extent of irking me.

The only ‘R Balki’ trait that I found in the film was Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bachchan’s cameo which served the purpose that salt would serve in tea- it just didn’t make sense. Not only the film was bad (read intolerable, at most instances), the music was no less a sucker. I mean, what’s a film without hum-worthy songs?

Ki and Ka was unnecessarily dragged into double conflict resolved with the obviously and extremely annoying happy ending (I’m sure you’ll know why extremely annoying after watching it). Kareena acted too bad in Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon but this film struck as a more annoying one than that even though the actors did pretty well excluding Swaroop Sampat who played Kia’s mother. Now I’m sure you can imagine the impending two-hour-horror if you’ve booked tickets for this one.

Watched it already? Do share your thoughts in the comments.


Feature Image courtesy: songsbajaao.com

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#HospitalityFail

So it is after moving to Mumbai that I realised how much I love Pizza. It was just another of those pizza-craving-days when I urged my friends to join me for one ANYWHERE. Since they were already going to Phoenix and there’s Domino’s over there, we decided to satiate my Pizza hunger at Dominos.

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Courtesy: i.imgur.com

Ohh that thought of extra cheese extending between my mouth and a pizza slice considerably reduced the levels of patience in me during all the shopping my friends had to do. Little had I known that the crowded Dominos would end up leaving me wondering why it was crowded in the first place in spite of the rather disappointing hospitality.

Well, being welcomed with unwelcoming countenances has been a common experience for me, here in Mumbai. “Does cheese burst option apply to Pizza Mania pizzas?” asked Shivani only to be responded with a nonchalant non-verbal rude mouth gesture. You know that ‘click’ kind of sound that you make while responding in the negative to a question about whether you have finished your work or not? That.

I was kinda past caring and wanted my pizza in front of me. We ordered. It took a good twenty-five minutes for our order to be prepared. Fine. You can wait for a tasty pizza to melt in your mouth at the cost of those minutes and a hole in your pocket (in Dominos’ case), can’t you? I did.

The moment they served the pizzas without ketchup and even a single tissue was the moment when I realised how badly they lacked common sense and etiquette. Man, when somebody orders a cheese burst, tissues are compulsory to catch hold of all the cheese that flows out from the corners of the mouth. But no, these people seemed least bothered in that regard.

Coming to the pizza- Well thankfully, it was good although damn heavy. I wish these Domino’s people were beyond their grumpy faces and impolite hospitality. It would improve their service to a great extent, you know. The tasty pizza saved their asses, though. And to think of it, I think all that haughtiness comes from the scrumptious pizzas lest they be bashed up hard.

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Courtesy: talesfromthewetsuit.wordpress.com

Care to share similar bad experiences? Do it in the comments below.


Banner Image Courtesy: foodguruz.in

A Cold Blow to Coldplay

The news of Coldplay performing in Lower Parel spread like wildfire throughout the country. As much as it evoked nationwide expressions of awe, it caused feelings of regret in Mumbaikars who missed the opportunity of watching the popular band play in the city’s streets. Turns out they were playing for their music video, which has been released of late, called Hymn for the Weekend.

Busy streets, sadhus in swag, people playing Holi, Indianized Beyoncé (as is evident from her attire, overloaded jewellery and mehndi-stained hands) in a kinetoscope, dingy theatre, the mandatory boys-water-dive, Kuchipudi dancers among other similar things constituted the ingredients put together to prepare a concoction which a lot of Indians found distasteful.

Shot in Mumbai and Banaras, the video has the band performing on a street with hip-hopping children, Sonam Kapoor angelically releasing rose petals from her grip along with Beyoncé acting as a mystical woman clad in designer duo Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla’s noteworthy ensemble. However, I didn’t understand what she tried to do there.

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The video received much flak from the viewers for showing poverty (which I didn’t really see) and too much colour which is the clichéd way of outsiders projecting India. My question is, where would you get a picture clicked if you were in London or New York? Won’t you think of London Eye and Statue of Liberty? Obviously, you’d want to capture the real essence of the place which, in India’s case, lies in the streets. And the colour only adds to the beauty, so why not have it?

More than that, Sonam Kapoor was caught in a vortex of memes and jokes for her mere 3-second-appearance in the video. But wait, who cares? It’s a Coldplay video after all! She had her share of fun and we shouldn’t object to that. This is another one of those least important things that we people find the most importance in.

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Courtesy: kawaius.com

The song is catchy and pleasant which makes it more a win for Coldplay than a Loss- People are sure to hum the song even if they choose not to watch the ‘clichéd’ video. And I am not one of them ’cause I enjoy the video as much as the song. The British band’s admiration for India which was projected only through Coldplay written in Hindi on the instruments until now, has finally materialized.


Banner Image courtesy: india.com

All the other Images have been taken from YouTube and the GIFs have been created on giphy.com.

When I watched the Koyla Burn

What happens when an ideal hero like Shahrukh Khan and his sidekick like Johnny Lever (only to add a tinge of not-so-funny comedy) indulge in a fight against infamous characters of Amrish Puri and Ranjeet (the accomplice) with their sidekicks and a damsel caught in the vortex? Koyla is produced.

Does the plot remind you of some other film?

I’ll give you a hint- Two Heroes, two maidens, sidekicks (the same ones) and the lechers (the SAME ONES), vengeance and a Maa full of conviction. Yes! Koyla looks like an abridged version of Karan Arjun sans the Maa and big brother.

Now I will take a moment to commend Amrish Puri. He deploys his lecherous tactics to his full capacity in spite of being hampered by old age. All that testosterone does not seem to wither, really. And of course, his remarkable dialogue ‘Bloody Phool’ is to watch out for!

Courtesy: aloo-gobi.com

Anyway besides the lavish Mahal, the oppressive Raja, the hero and sidekicks; a lot of things are similar.

The songs seem almost corresponding to Karan Arjun and so does the objectification of women. I wonder why no one ever objected to that overtly insensitive way of portraying females, be it focussing on the bosom or possessing the girls. And why in the hell are those unnecessary item numbers there?!

Although Gauri (Madhuri Dixit) falls in love with Shankar by a mere glance at his photograph to the extent of imagining a five-minute song with the dumb guy, she shows a sense of logic in certain instances in the film.

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She clearly opposes the idea of marrying someone without seeing them and also abides by her principles. However, she forgets that a lot is to be considered apart from a prospective groom’s pretty face. Sigh!

Moreover, she proves her badass nature by not uttering a single word of the highly patriarchal prayer that clearly suggests that her life is only worthwhile if her husband is kept at the pinnacle of it, which the Pandit urges her to chant.

Courtesy: tumblr.com

It seems like they did not want the heroine to overpower the hero’s charm so they contained her ability in a bottle and let out only little hints of it throughout the film.

Well, the film is good for a one-time-nonserious-kinda-watch. Even if you doze off midway and wake up towards the end, you’ll miss only unnecessary drama, I assure.

Banner image courtesy: fiirso.com

Watch Koyla here: vidsshare.com

A Scoopful of Humour-Coated Wisdom

The Viral Fever hardly fails to surprise the audience with its satirical, out right comical and yet sensible work.  Be it Chai Sutta Chronicles, Barely Speaking with Arnab or Pitchers, TVF’s entertainment does not solely give others a laugh but leaves them thinking with its subtleties.

The Permanent Roommates – Season 2. *EPISODE 2 SPOILERS AHEAD*

Mikesh the practical, simple and child-like comical being partnered with the intellectual, complex and foreseer Tanya bring to you the fresh season of Permanent Roommates by TVF with striking and engaging twists. Even with just two episodes released till now, the exorbitant viewership says a lot about the popularity and anticipation of the web series. Watch the show for some progressive factors.

Episode Two: Progressive Factors

Acceptance of Pre-marital Pregnancy

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Although Mikesh and Tanya belong to middle-class Indian families, Tanya’s pregnancy does not become a matter of disdain in the household. Everyone accepts it with brief resistance from Mikesh’s grandfather (Asrani) and a worrisome Mikesh’s mother. No one blames or judges the girl. However, the duos’ parents wanting to get the two married at the earliest gives a hint of societal pressure even if it is not overtly spoken of.

Second Marriage

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Tanya’s father who wishes to marry her aunt expresses his concern over what-the-people-would-say if he marries at a rather old age but soon he overcomes his fears as he recalls how he had forgotten to live for himself while living for his daughter. From playing cricket with neighbourhood kids after his wife’s demise to marrying again, he had supressed his desires until gaining confidence to facing it and getting encouragement from Mikesh and also Tanya as it turns out to be. It tells us that age is just a number indeed.

The Post-Modern man

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A man who cries, cuddles and acts cute, according to Mikesh, is the Post-modern man which he suggests Tanya’s father to become. He shuns the idea of being a macho man and declares that the most powerful weapon for a man is tear(s). His father-in-law accepts the idea and hey! It works well for him. They prove that a man who can freely express his emotions, is a man after all and in no way compromises his ‘mardaangi’. What is mardaangi anyway?!

So now, go and catch up on what you have missed at tvfplay.com or install the TVFPlay app on your android.

Images courtesy: tvfplay.com